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Fred Allen (1894 - 1956) US radio comedian



A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen


A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
Fred Allen



California is a fine place to live--if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen


Committee--a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
Fred Allen



Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
Fred Allen



Hollywood is a place where people from Iowa mistake each other for stars.
Fred Allen


I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.
Fred Allen