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Woody Allen (1935 - ) US movie actor, comedian, & director


My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen


Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
Woody Allen


On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
Woody Allen

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.
Woody Allen

Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness.
Woody Allen



The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone.
Woody Allen