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Woody Allen (1935 - ) US movie actor, comedian, & director


I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
Woody Allen


If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.
Woody Allen

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank.
Woody Allen

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.
Woody Allen


It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.
Woody Allen



It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off.
Woody Allen